Sex The Dos and Dont's
* Sexuality*
* The lamp of life that lights up with love*
Info Drs Ayurveda FBPage
AN # 85
................................
*Magic cure ads* ๐
XYZ clinic - one stop solution for all your secret problems like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, impotency, low libido and for genital size enhancement !!!
There may be only a few who have not seen such advertisements in public places like bus stands , railway stations and comfort stations....
After the success stories of herbal viagra and safed musli, one is left wondering whether there is any one left with any sexual problems...!!๐ฑ
Come, let's discuss openly about the sexual problems with out making discreet glances and hushed up conversations........๐ค
*Is it a problem pertaining to men only* ?๐๐ฟ♂
It is a common belief that sexual problems are there only for men.
Men generally resort to buying these 'aphrodisiacs' directly from medical shops, which claim to provide magic results. Such OTC medicines are known to have severe side effects. Many of them are tagged as Ayurvedic products to give an impression that they are free of any side effects. When one realises that there is absolutely no effect what so ever, leave alone the side effects, his pocket will be empty or almost so.
It is commonly believed that the sexual success is dependent on man's ability to perform. How ever, it is a completely wrong notion. 90% of the sexuality is controlled by the state of mind of the couple.
There are many factors like mutual understanding, closeness to each other, empathy, love for each other, like-mindedness etc that influence the sexual compatibility.
๐ For Horse power on bed ---
This is the tagline of a popular brand of aphrodisiac.
We ought to know that in reality, it is actually 'Mind - the magical horse' which is the source of this power.
( This is the trick by which the magical sex cure medicines some how unfurl the victory flag. It is the self confidence boosted by the consumption of the medicine which brings out the magic.)
It is better not to have such pre conceived notions or ideas before tying the marital knot.
*Male sexual problems* ๐๐ผ♂
♦ *Erectile Dysfunction*
It is estimated that around 12% of male population are suffering from ED ..
ED - the villian, may enter into the newly married couple's life right from the start or any time there after.(A couple who decided to get divorced due to ED, with in a week of their marriage, with proper counselling are parents of 3 children now)
It is clinically proved that psychological reasons are responsible for 90% of ED...
1. Misconceptions.
2. Sense of guilt. [ Eg: Facing ED only when Indulging in illicit relationships.)
3. Psychological issues arising out of the premarital misadventures.
4. Disinterest or dislike in partner due to factors like physical appearance etc.
5. Work pressure and financial problems
6. Partner's lack of hygiene.
7. Non compliant partner or dominant ( some times even bullying) female partner.
( It reminds of a male patient who wept stating that he was mocked by his partner for his failure on the bed)
8. Excessive anxiety/ Depression.
9.Chronic fatigue.
10. Physical weakness or illness.
11.Sexual problems with the life partner.
12. Fear of an unwanted pregnancy.
13.Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease.
14. Sexual incompatibility of partners.
Many reasons like these are responsible for erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, impotency, infertility etc..
[ Isn't it clear now that the solution for all these is not the "sulthan with extra power' you see in the ads?]
ED due to psychological reasons occur mostly in young adults.
*How to distinguish the EDs due to physical illness from those of psychological reasons?*
If there is normal natural erection in the early hours , it can be assumed that there is no physiological problem. ( This is the time at which testosterone , the male hormone is at its peak )
If a person is not getting erection while on intercourse but is getting it while masturbating, it can be presumed that it is due to psychological reasons
*Remedies*
There is a lack of qualified sexologists who can give a patient hearing and address the problem effectively. Usually the patients are also reluctant to discuss openly with doctors.
According to the expert sexologists, 80% of the sexual problems can be resolved by the individuals themselves if they desire so.
Do not hesitate to discuss with your doctor. ๐ฉ⚕๐จ⚕
❌ It is generally observed that most of the time, male partner's problems are conveyed to the doctor by the ladies.
✅ It is proper to have a consultation with the doctor jointly and individually.
✅ Accept and acknowledge your age.
๐ด๐ป. Accept the changes observed in erection as age progresses
✅Keep your body healthy
a. Keep your body weight under control
b. Keep sugar levels under control.
c. Maintain your lipid levels with in normal limits
*Get rid of bad habits*
❌๐ฌ Smoking
❌๐ฅ Alcohol abuse.
❌Over eating, Overindulgence in sweets and fatty food.
The higher sugar and fat levels in the blood affects normal erection. In such conditions, the causative diseases should be treated and brought under control instead of locally applying the much advertised massage oil which promises horse like vigour.
*Masturbation*
Teens who attained sexual maturity and those who are devoid of a sexual partner either temporarily or permanently, may resort to masturbation to satisfy their sexual urges.
There are those who believe masturbation as a sin and carry the guilty consciousness to the extent of affecting their subsequent sexual life. Such thoughts are irrelevant. There is nothing to feel guilty about masturbation. When religious beliefs of indulgence in masturbation as a sin is strongly embedded in mind, chances of sexual disorders are more in later lives. It badly affects their normal sexual lives.
*Ayurvedic explanation*
As shukra dhatu is the end product of dhatu parinama or formation of dhatus, it is considered as essence of all dhatus. Hence its level in body has to be maintained very carefully by consuming nourishing foods and by leading a healthy life. It has to be protected to keep body healthy and to have healthy progeny. Practicing healthy sexual life, consuming healthy food and leading a healthy lifestyle helps to protect shukra. Or else it leads to shukra kshaya leading to sexual debility.
One will not be a 'brahmachari' / celibate just because he is not officially married. 'Brahmachari' is a seeker of knowledge, who is continuously learning. That means a real student.
Haven't you heard the saying, "Idle mind is a devil's workshop" ?
*Ashta vidha maithunam* or Eight types of sexual intercourse
1. Smaranam - ( Thinking about ladies)
2. Keerthanam - ( praising qualities of the other sex.)
3. Keli - (Playing amorous games with ladies)
4. Preshanam- ( Eyeing them lustfully)
5. Guhya bhashanam - ( Talking to them surreptitiously in private )
6. Sankalpam - (wishing or resolving to have sex with them.)
7. Adhyavasayam _ (Approaching them with determination of having sex)
8. Kriya nirvrithi - (Actual accomplishment of sexual act.)
Students & youths ( even now) enjoy sex by these methods. They get distracted from studies and vocations which may lead to failure in real life
❌Bad habits
There are couples who make it a habit of watching sex tapes to elicit sexual arousal and erection. To some extent, it may serve as a mood creator, but in the long run may lead to skirmishes between the couple. In short, sex life of the partners shouldn't turn into sexual perversions.
*Premature ejaculation* - *A wrong concept*
Normally ejaculation happens with in few minutes.( A long drawn ejaculation is not the bench mark . What matters is the satisfaction of the partner.)
Reason for premature ejaculation can be anxiety or physiological reasons...
Take medical advice to recognize the root cause and to solve problems (if any).
Making oneself believe that some thing is wrong and then rushing to experiment with the product seen in the ads expecting magic results is not advisable. Do not get carried away by the exaggerated depictions.
❌ *Reel life Vs real life*
Life is not a movie.....
In this smart phone age, people are increasingly becoming addicted and enslaved to sexually explicit videos, photographs, writings, or the like. Even though this problem is more in adolescents, according to experts, the incidence of porn addiction in middle aged is also on the increase.
Proper sexual education should be provided to the adolescents. They should understand that the distorted sexual acts they see in the porn movies enacted by the drugged stars is not the real life.
There is a case where husband divorced his wife as she was unwiiling to do what they saw in a porn film.
Couple should try to understand each other's likes and dislikes and act accordingly.
In Asthanga hridaya, it is said that before going to bed, all issues between the partners should be resolved and they should pacify and pamper each other.
Recenty came to hear about a true story of a newly wedded couple where husband committed suicide feeling disgraced as his wife got frightened and screamed.
Allow some time to understand and acknowledge each other. After all, life is not one day affair.
*Small penis* (Another wrong concept )
Sexual satisfaction can be provided by a partner with penis size as of even 7- 10 cm on erection. In females, touch and pressure sensation can be felt up to a depth of first 3 -4 cm of vagina only.
In obese persons, once they shed weight, the fat accumulated around the pubic part of penis gets reduced, making the penis more visible which makes it seem larger.
It is really rare to find those with micro penis ( very small penis), a condition which may hamper normal sex.
Except surgical correction, all other methods to increase penis size are futile.
*Beware of false knowledge. It is more dangerous than ignorance.* - Bernad Shaw*
Many are not only lacking in proper sexual knowledge, but also getting a lot of false informations. All these lead to sexual problems that may ultimately result in infertility...
Some experiences....
Case 1. Teacher couple came for infertility treatment. On probing, realised that they do not even know how to have a proper intercourse !
Case 2. An educated couple , again with infertility complaint. A misunderstanding about sexual intercourse was the reason. They were doing anal intercourse only, so as to conceive quickly as they believed that it was the easiest way to get pregnant !!
In such cases only proper sexual education will be enough to manage infertility......
*Sexual revulsion and lack of interest*๐ณ♂๐ง๐ผ
Revulsion and lack of interest towards sex is becoming very common now a days. Reasons may vary from hectic life schedules and the day to day struggles, to health issues. Lack of understanding and empathy between the couple is one of the main reasons. It is equally applicable to both men and women.
*The human body is the best work of art. ~ Jess C. Scott*
Those who are disinterested in sex should first understand that 'Sex is not a problem, but a solution'. Actually sex with your life partner is the best available single drug for relieving all your tensions, depression, sorrows, anxieties or pain which comes as a package with our busy life. .
The surge of dopamine, oxytocin, etc in the brain, during each sexual intecourse soothes boredom of mundane life like a cool drizzle over parching land...
*Female Sexual Problems* ๐♀
*Vaginal pain and dryness* ๐ฃ
Lack of proper lubrication results in dryness and pain.
This is commonly seen in post menopausal women and in those who have undergone hysterectomy where ovaries also were removed along with uterus. Hormone related problems are responsible for this condition.
This is where foreplay plays an important role before intercourse.
A lady who is sexually aroused with sensuous approaches and endearing behaviour will naturally get lubricated.
If prolonged foreplay doesn't help, then external lubricants can be used to reduce dryness.
Shatadhouta ghrita is one such medicated ghee preparation that can be used as an effective lubricant.
Coconut oil also can be used for lubrication. But there is a chance for fungal infection if the coconut oil is not pure.
Points to note:
❌Do not use coconut oil or any creams for lubrication if trying for pregnancy.
*Menopause is not sex pause*
Menopause should not be considered as a pause for sex life. The associated dryness of vagina can be overcome with proper foreplay and lubricants.
✅ Normal sexual life during this phase may solve many of the problems associated with menopause. It may serve as an assurance to the lady that the partner is still interested in her and help her to deal with post menopausal problems with ease.
*Vaginismus or tightness of vagina*
It is purely a psychological problem. The muscles of vagina get involuntarily tightened preventing vaginal penetration. This condition is mostly seen in those who are attempting sexual intercourse for the first time.
It may occur due to various reasons like, fear of pain associated with penetration, particularly the popular misconception of "breaking" the hymen and bleeding upon the first attempt at penetration, or the idea that vaginal penetration will inevitably hurt the first time it occurs, the fearful feedbacks from married friends, past history of sexual abuse, or dislike towards the sexual partner.
The fact is that periods may start along with breaking of hymen in those who are near to menstrual date. This is behind the frightful stories of heavy bleeding on hymen rupture which is being propagated by those with such experiences. Other reasons like anxiety, stress, vaginal or urinary infections, trauma and even strict conservative moral education may be behind vaginismus.
It is seen more often in newly married who are attempting intercourse with much haste. Allow the bride some time to get mentally and physically ready.
Once full sexual penetration has occurred with the partner, the chances of vaginismus with the same partner is very less.
Just by clearing misunderstanding and fear, and by self assessment, it may resolve on its own.
*Anorgasmia*
If the lady is unable to reach orgasm half the times she has intercourse even with ample sexual stimulation, it can be considered that she is having anorgasmia.
Strong bonds of understanding with sexual partner may help resolve this problem.
Anxiety about some one overhearing, or the child waking up or the presence of other family members in the adjacent room, mind preoccupied on other thing etc may hamper the possibility of an orgasm. So such thoughts and situations have to be avoided.
There are more chances of reaching orgasm, if the lady is mentally and physically prepared for the sexual act.
Instead of making love at pre chartered time, partners should engage in sex when ever they both feel sexually aroused. This helps in having good sex, overcoming difficulties like vaginismus, erectile dysfunction etc.
*Hysterectomy*
Many ladies think that once uterus is lost, life is lost. Ladies should understand that there is nothing that may affect their normal sexual life. There may be hormonal problems if ovaries are removed along with uterus. That also may be relieved by proper medication and diet.
The main problem associated with hysterectomy is vaginal dryness about which we have already discussed above.
*Infections* ๐ง♀๐ง♂
Different types of infections may affect sexual wellbeing. Various reasons like lack of hygiene to diabetes may be the reasons behind the recurrent fungal infections etc.
Use of condom etc may help in protecting the partner from getting infected.
It is a good habit to wash the private parts before and after intercourse. For relief from infections, Triphala water ( Triphala in water is boiled, cooled and filtered) can be used for washing.
Ladies suffering with leucorrhea (white discharge) should get treatment for that first. Heavy discharge/ discoloration/ foul smell / itching etc are signs of an infection.
In couples who lead an active sexual life, even if only one partner is having infection, both should take treatment at the same time as there is a risk of cross infection between the partners. Infection may be seen recurring as a result of back to back spreading.
*Not during those taboo days*๐ค
*Intercourse during menstrual periods*
It is better not to have intercourse on menstrual days. Those are the days on which the ladies are the least prepared physically. Also there is a higher chance for infection.
IUCD ( copper T etc) are never a barrier for intercourse.
What ever sexual practices that are acceptable for both in the bedroom are not perversions. But forcing the reluctant partner for the acts will come under perversion.
There is nothing wrong in sex. It is a normal body function where union of two bodies and minds do happen. Some keep their minds shut to their partners even if body is shared. This shouldn't be. This is the occasion where one needs to, and 'should' open up.
There are women who think that if they discuss sexual matters with their partners, they will be deemed as having loose morals. Some men also feel the same and abstain from discussing as they think it will damage their image.
Remember that maintaining the etiquettes are enough.
Ayurveda is having a special branch called ' Vajeekaranam' which is exclusively for dealing with sexual health. But it is highly misunderstood and is getting narrowed down to a product / lehya for vigour. This area has turned out to be a healthy field for quacks with their half baked (or zero) knowledge and fraudulent drugs to cheat gullible people and mint money.
' Kalyanaka Ghrita' is a medicated ghee in Ayurveda which is very effective in certain types of mental disorders. At the same time, 'Kalyanam' in Malayalam means marriage. May be in earlier days vaidya's advice of kalyanaka ghrita for mental illness was mistaken as kalyana and hence this bad tradition of hurriedly marrying off mental patients. Likewise with out giving much thought, after seeing the ads, people are rushing out to buy the so called sex boosters and remedies which offer magical cure for all the sexual problems in the world.
What is the problem and what is its solution?
After finding out this only problem should be solved.
Realise that solution for all the problems is not one and the same.
In Ayurveda, a wide array of treatment modalities ranging from body purification or panchakarma to Rasayana - Vajeekarana medicines are available to address various sex related diseases.
*Vajeekaranam*
Vajeekarana or Vrishya chikitsa is one of the eight major branches of Ayurveda. In Sanskrit, Vaji means horse, the symbol of sexual potency & performance. Vajeekarana means replicating a horse's vigor, particularly the animal's great capacity for sexual activity, in humans. Literally Vajeekarana is not exactly aphrodisiac but currently it is used as a synonym.
However, the main aim of Vajeekarana is always successful copulation for healthy progeny, with sexual pleasure being just an additional benefit. Therapies are also described for various sexual and reproductive diseases like Klaibya( E D), Vandhyatva (Infertitily), Shukraghata Vata (azoospermia and premature ejaculation). etc.
Today’s competitive and stressful environment exhibits a negative impact on the sexual life of people. India is named as the country with the largest male population in the world. Here, erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common occurrence among males and its incidence is expected to increase significantly along with the increase in various lifestyle diseases. A study conducted in Mumbai in the year 2012-14 shows the increase in the incidence of erectile dysfunction in India. Its incidence has been projected to increase significantly to over 320 million by the year 2025.
It has also been dubbed as the impotent capital of the world due to the high incidence of lifestyle diseases which in turn is one of the biggest reasons for impotency.
A study in 2012 by All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS ) found that the average sperm count of Indian male was 60 million per ml, 30 yrs ago and now this has decreased to 20 million per ml. This study also revealed that the majority of men who were exposed to high temperature at their work place and those who work continuously in sitting position are prone to a low sperm count since a one degree elevation in testicular temperature leads to 14% depression of spermatogenesis. 12-18 million couples in India are diagnosed with infertility every year. In males across the world, there is a decrease in sperm quantity as well as quality like , a decrease in motility (sperm movement) and changes in morphology (shape and structure) of the sperms. There has been a 2% decrease in quality annually. Also, 40% men in reproductive age group have recorded a quantitative and qualitative decline in sperm quality. Stress also decreases the hormones that stimulate spermatogenesis.
The Ayurvedic vajeekarana chikitsa has solutions to this emerging problem of erectile dysfunction and disorders relating to seminal parameters.
Vajeekarana therapy is said to revitalize all the seven dhatus (body elements), there by restoring equilibrium and health. Keeping in mind the concept of vajeekarana as described in the texts of Ayurveda, it definitely offers a solution to minimize the shukra (sperm and ovum) defects and to ensure a healthy progeny.
Rasayana drugs act inside the human body by modulating the neuro-endocrino-immune system. Vajeekarana rasayana is a special category of rasayana, which improves the reproductive system and enhance sexual function. They act on higher centers of the brain, i.e., the hypothalamus and limbic system. Vajeekarana also has anti-stress, adaptogenic actions, which helps to alleviate anxiety associated with sexual desire and performance. Chauhan et al. (2010)in a study showed that administration of vjeekarana rasayana modulates the level of the pituitary hormones FSH and LH. This can explain the positive effect of the herbs on sexual functioning.
Vajeekarana chikitsa requires living in strict compliance to the directions mentioned in Ayurvedic classics. The treatment involves various methods of sodhana (body cleansing) followed by medicines, based on the prakriti of the individual(doshic body constitution).
By properly understanding the semen analysis and problems related to intercourse, the physician can select the appropriate oushadha yoga or their modifications according to the condition of the patient.
Vajeekarana drugs are subdivided by Acharya Sarngadhara as:
*Sukrala:- The drug which facilitates and increases the production of semen (spermanogogues). These drugs are used to improve spermatogenesis and androgen synthesis. (sukra means semen, reproductive tissues and it's control system )
*Sukra janaka pravathakam: – Increases the semen and promotes ejaculation.
*Sukra rechanam:- Promote the expulsion of semen.
*Sukra pravarthini :- The stimulator of semen. Various psychological factors play an important role in sexual stimulation. Beautiful woman is considered as vajeekarana par excellence. In contrast, grief, anger, anxiety, fear, suspiciousness towards women partner has an adverse influence.
*Sukra sthambhakam:- Drugs which help to withhold semen for longer time . Drugs in this group are useful in treating premature ejaculation.
*Sukra soshakam:- Drugs which dry up semen or reduce quantity. This can only be used to reduce the sexual desire and not as a vajeekarana.
*Sukra Sodhana Mahakashaya (By Acharya Charaka):- the drugs which will do the sukra sodhana (semen cleansing)
∆ Eligibility criteria for consuming Vajikarana preparations.
As per Ayurveda, a person below 17 years of age and more than 70 years of age should not consume Vajikarana preparations. These preparations have to be consumed by "jitendriya purusha" or man who has control on his senses and desires. If Vajikarana preparations are consumed by "ajitendriya purusha" or man who has lost control over his senses and desire, he may prove harmful to the society.
Even though most of the treatments explained are for male patients there are treatments for vandhyata (infertility) in women and for problems related to loss of libido. The reason for the importance given to male infertility in the ancient Ayurveda texts may be due to the social setup of those days.
¥ In short, Vajeekarana Chikitsa is a treatment procedure in Ayurveda that focuses on the sexual health of a person. This branch deals with the management of defective semen and spermatogenesis along with treating sexual weaknesses. Currently, the importance of this branch has increased manifold, as more and more people are turning to Ayurveda for reporting various disorders related to seminal parameters and sexual dysfunction. The branch needs a rehauling with more enthusiastic scientific researches to develop further.
*Mysteries of magic ads*.๐คซ
The advertisements of sex medicnes work like a shrewd palm reader. More than 30% people will be having some kind of a sexual problem.
The advertisers take advantage of their ignorance, fear, helplessness and disgrace...
Understand that the sex stimulants are also having side effects.
Instead consult a qualified physician for relief from any of your sexual problems , have a frank discussion with him and take proper medication...
The conditions may vary from those that can be treated with out medicines to those requiring hormonal therapy to surgery.
Understand that details like - ' how to use the medicine and for how long , its proper dosage, side effects if any, and the solution for that '- all these are known to a qualified doctor only / the tablet in the ads doesn't know it.
๐พ Another super item ๐ฑ
* Massage oils for stronger penis*
Massage can improve circulation in any part of the body. Therefore, when the 'enhancing' oil is massaged, it will have a similar effect only. Nothing like proper cure or permanent solution.
*They act also as confidence boosters* Therefore, even if initially they may give some result temporarily, the same may not work out for long.
Whether for pro creation or otherwise, sexuality is inherent in every living being. Depending on hormonal or genetical differences, there may be variations in their levels.
Failures in sex is the leading cause for sexual perversions like exhibitionism.
Perversions are sexual disorders .Help the patient to understand this fact and make him avail proper treatment.
*Marriage is merger of two individuals*๐
In a relationship, the partners should definitely know each other's mind. A successful relationship is not only about the success on bed.
To be a soothing touch, a loving caress, to crack a joke with out much care and laugh out loud with bubbling mirth, to talk about everything under the sun or doing odd jobs as a team, a hug, a pat, a kiss on the cheeks should be a part of your everyday life.
If the husband likes politics and sports, wife should try to acknowledge and show some interest in that.
If your wife is a chatterbox, be there with her as a hum, even if you are not following her entire conversation.
Let the cold of love seep through you, as it falls as dew drops on your soul...
Let that drizzle of love drench you through, as it is so prizeless....
Let the warmth of love, as morning sun, fall on you as a golden glow ...
When that soothing breeze of love is, caressing your tresses, just wade deeper so that you get even more caresses.
With out enjoying all these little luxuries of every day life, if we stuff our heads with work, share market,& other domestic chores and scramble for money and bank balance etc, understand that you are missing out on all the most beautiful feelings that heal your inside.
More than mere physical rituals, let every relationship become more fruitful with love and empathy.
*What are the savings of the wedded life?*
A big house,?
A luxury car?
A huge bank balance?
All these are secondary to the strong bonds of love and attachment between the couple.
Is your hugging limited to posings for Fb profiles... or is your life really rich with such private moments?
Those moments, when you open up to each other, the little deeds that give assurance of a long lasting companionship, the feeling of intimacy with a few words or a loving glance, that embrace which drowns all the sorrows and tensions?
With the maturity that comes with years of togetherness, the understanding dawns that for making your relationship a success, it is not forgetting, but forgiving all the flaws and faults of your mate that really works out.
If your life is rich with all these treasures,
how could you loss out on sexual pleasures..
Snuggle under blankets with your lover
Be the winner always and ever!!
With warm regards
Dr Navaneetha Kamath
and
Team Info Drs Ayurveda @
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* The lamp of life that lights up with love*
Info Drs Ayurveda FBPage
AN # 85
................................
*Magic cure ads* ๐
XYZ clinic - one stop solution for all your secret problems like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, impotency, low libido and for genital size enhancement !!!
There may be only a few who have not seen such advertisements in public places like bus stands , railway stations and comfort stations....
After the success stories of herbal viagra and safed musli, one is left wondering whether there is any one left with any sexual problems...!!๐ฑ
Come, let's discuss openly about the sexual problems with out making discreet glances and hushed up conversations........๐ค
*Is it a problem pertaining to men only* ?๐๐ฟ♂
It is a common belief that sexual problems are there only for men.
Men generally resort to buying these 'aphrodisiacs' directly from medical shops, which claim to provide magic results. Such OTC medicines are known to have severe side effects. Many of them are tagged as Ayurvedic products to give an impression that they are free of any side effects. When one realises that there is absolutely no effect what so ever, leave alone the side effects, his pocket will be empty or almost so.
It is commonly believed that the sexual success is dependent on man's ability to perform. How ever, it is a completely wrong notion. 90% of the sexuality is controlled by the state of mind of the couple.
There are many factors like mutual understanding, closeness to each other, empathy, love for each other, like-mindedness etc that influence the sexual compatibility.
๐ For Horse power on bed ---
This is the tagline of a popular brand of aphrodisiac.
We ought to know that in reality, it is actually 'Mind - the magical horse' which is the source of this power.
( This is the trick by which the magical sex cure medicines some how unfurl the victory flag. It is the self confidence boosted by the consumption of the medicine which brings out the magic.)
It is better not to have such pre conceived notions or ideas before tying the marital knot.
*Male sexual problems* ๐๐ผ♂
♦ *Erectile Dysfunction*
It is estimated that around 12% of male population are suffering from ED ..
ED - the villian, may enter into the newly married couple's life right from the start or any time there after.(A couple who decided to get divorced due to ED, with in a week of their marriage, with proper counselling are parents of 3 children now)
It is clinically proved that psychological reasons are responsible for 90% of ED...
1. Misconceptions.
2. Sense of guilt. [ Eg: Facing ED only when Indulging in illicit relationships.)
3. Psychological issues arising out of the premarital misadventures.
4. Disinterest or dislike in partner due to factors like physical appearance etc.
5. Work pressure and financial problems
6. Partner's lack of hygiene.
7. Non compliant partner or dominant ( some times even bullying) female partner.
( It reminds of a male patient who wept stating that he was mocked by his partner for his failure on the bed)
8. Excessive anxiety/ Depression.
9.Chronic fatigue.
10. Physical weakness or illness.
11.Sexual problems with the life partner.
12. Fear of an unwanted pregnancy.
13.Fear of getting a sexually transmitted disease.
14. Sexual incompatibility of partners.
Many reasons like these are responsible for erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, impotency, infertility etc..
[ Isn't it clear now that the solution for all these is not the "sulthan with extra power' you see in the ads?]
ED due to psychological reasons occur mostly in young adults.
*How to distinguish the EDs due to physical illness from those of psychological reasons?*
If there is normal natural erection in the early hours , it can be assumed that there is no physiological problem. ( This is the time at which testosterone , the male hormone is at its peak )
If a person is not getting erection while on intercourse but is getting it while masturbating, it can be presumed that it is due to psychological reasons
*Remedies*
There is a lack of qualified sexologists who can give a patient hearing and address the problem effectively. Usually the patients are also reluctant to discuss openly with doctors.
According to the expert sexologists, 80% of the sexual problems can be resolved by the individuals themselves if they desire so.
Do not hesitate to discuss with your doctor. ๐ฉ⚕๐จ⚕
❌ It is generally observed that most of the time, male partner's problems are conveyed to the doctor by the ladies.
✅ It is proper to have a consultation with the doctor jointly and individually.
✅ Accept and acknowledge your age.
๐ด๐ป. Accept the changes observed in erection as age progresses
✅Keep your body healthy
a. Keep your body weight under control
b. Keep sugar levels under control.
c. Maintain your lipid levels with in normal limits
*Get rid of bad habits*
❌๐ฌ Smoking
❌๐ฅ Alcohol abuse.
❌Over eating, Overindulgence in sweets and fatty food.
The higher sugar and fat levels in the blood affects normal erection. In such conditions, the causative diseases should be treated and brought under control instead of locally applying the much advertised massage oil which promises horse like vigour.
*Masturbation*
Teens who attained sexual maturity and those who are devoid of a sexual partner either temporarily or permanently, may resort to masturbation to satisfy their sexual urges.
There are those who believe masturbation as a sin and carry the guilty consciousness to the extent of affecting their subsequent sexual life. Such thoughts are irrelevant. There is nothing to feel guilty about masturbation. When religious beliefs of indulgence in masturbation as a sin is strongly embedded in mind, chances of sexual disorders are more in later lives. It badly affects their normal sexual lives.
*Ayurvedic explanation*
As shukra dhatu is the end product of dhatu parinama or formation of dhatus, it is considered as essence of all dhatus. Hence its level in body has to be maintained very carefully by consuming nourishing foods and by leading a healthy life. It has to be protected to keep body healthy and to have healthy progeny. Practicing healthy sexual life, consuming healthy food and leading a healthy lifestyle helps to protect shukra. Or else it leads to shukra kshaya leading to sexual debility.
One will not be a 'brahmachari' / celibate just because he is not officially married. 'Brahmachari' is a seeker of knowledge, who is continuously learning. That means a real student.
Haven't you heard the saying, "Idle mind is a devil's workshop" ?
*Ashta vidha maithunam* or Eight types of sexual intercourse
1. Smaranam - ( Thinking about ladies)
2. Keerthanam - ( praising qualities of the other sex.)
3. Keli - (Playing amorous games with ladies)
4. Preshanam- ( Eyeing them lustfully)
5. Guhya bhashanam - ( Talking to them surreptitiously in private )
6. Sankalpam - (wishing or resolving to have sex with them.)
7. Adhyavasayam _ (Approaching them with determination of having sex)
8. Kriya nirvrithi - (Actual accomplishment of sexual act.)
Students & youths ( even now) enjoy sex by these methods. They get distracted from studies and vocations which may lead to failure in real life
❌Bad habits
There are couples who make it a habit of watching sex tapes to elicit sexual arousal and erection. To some extent, it may serve as a mood creator, but in the long run may lead to skirmishes between the couple. In short, sex life of the partners shouldn't turn into sexual perversions.
*Premature ejaculation* - *A wrong concept*
Normally ejaculation happens with in few minutes.( A long drawn ejaculation is not the bench mark . What matters is the satisfaction of the partner.)
Reason for premature ejaculation can be anxiety or physiological reasons...
Take medical advice to recognize the root cause and to solve problems (if any).
Making oneself believe that some thing is wrong and then rushing to experiment with the product seen in the ads expecting magic results is not advisable. Do not get carried away by the exaggerated depictions.
❌ *Reel life Vs real life*
Life is not a movie.....
In this smart phone age, people are increasingly becoming addicted and enslaved to sexually explicit videos, photographs, writings, or the like. Even though this problem is more in adolescents, according to experts, the incidence of porn addiction in middle aged is also on the increase.
Proper sexual education should be provided to the adolescents. They should understand that the distorted sexual acts they see in the porn movies enacted by the drugged stars is not the real life.
There is a case where husband divorced his wife as she was unwiiling to do what they saw in a porn film.
Couple should try to understand each other's likes and dislikes and act accordingly.
In Asthanga hridaya, it is said that before going to bed, all issues between the partners should be resolved and they should pacify and pamper each other.
Recenty came to hear about a true story of a newly wedded couple where husband committed suicide feeling disgraced as his wife got frightened and screamed.
Allow some time to understand and acknowledge each other. After all, life is not one day affair.
*Small penis* (Another wrong concept )
Sexual satisfaction can be provided by a partner with penis size as of even 7- 10 cm on erection. In females, touch and pressure sensation can be felt up to a depth of first 3 -4 cm of vagina only.
In obese persons, once they shed weight, the fat accumulated around the pubic part of penis gets reduced, making the penis more visible which makes it seem larger.
It is really rare to find those with micro penis ( very small penis), a condition which may hamper normal sex.
Except surgical correction, all other methods to increase penis size are futile.
*Beware of false knowledge. It is more dangerous than ignorance.* - Bernad Shaw*
Many are not only lacking in proper sexual knowledge, but also getting a lot of false informations. All these lead to sexual problems that may ultimately result in infertility...
Some experiences....
Case 1. Teacher couple came for infertility treatment. On probing, realised that they do not even know how to have a proper intercourse !
Case 2. An educated couple , again with infertility complaint. A misunderstanding about sexual intercourse was the reason. They were doing anal intercourse only, so as to conceive quickly as they believed that it was the easiest way to get pregnant !!
In such cases only proper sexual education will be enough to manage infertility......
*Sexual revulsion and lack of interest*๐ณ♂๐ง๐ผ
Revulsion and lack of interest towards sex is becoming very common now a days. Reasons may vary from hectic life schedules and the day to day struggles, to health issues. Lack of understanding and empathy between the couple is one of the main reasons. It is equally applicable to both men and women.
*The human body is the best work of art. ~ Jess C. Scott*
Those who are disinterested in sex should first understand that 'Sex is not a problem, but a solution'. Actually sex with your life partner is the best available single drug for relieving all your tensions, depression, sorrows, anxieties or pain which comes as a package with our busy life. .
The surge of dopamine, oxytocin, etc in the brain, during each sexual intecourse soothes boredom of mundane life like a cool drizzle over parching land...
*Female Sexual Problems* ๐♀
*Vaginal pain and dryness* ๐ฃ
Lack of proper lubrication results in dryness and pain.
This is commonly seen in post menopausal women and in those who have undergone hysterectomy where ovaries also were removed along with uterus. Hormone related problems are responsible for this condition.
This is where foreplay plays an important role before intercourse.
A lady who is sexually aroused with sensuous approaches and endearing behaviour will naturally get lubricated.
If prolonged foreplay doesn't help, then external lubricants can be used to reduce dryness.
Shatadhouta ghrita is one such medicated ghee preparation that can be used as an effective lubricant.
Coconut oil also can be used for lubrication. But there is a chance for fungal infection if the coconut oil is not pure.
Points to note:
❌Do not use coconut oil or any creams for lubrication if trying for pregnancy.
*Menopause is not sex pause*
Menopause should not be considered as a pause for sex life. The associated dryness of vagina can be overcome with proper foreplay and lubricants.
✅ Normal sexual life during this phase may solve many of the problems associated with menopause. It may serve as an assurance to the lady that the partner is still interested in her and help her to deal with post menopausal problems with ease.
*Vaginismus or tightness of vagina*
It is purely a psychological problem. The muscles of vagina get involuntarily tightened preventing vaginal penetration. This condition is mostly seen in those who are attempting sexual intercourse for the first time.
It may occur due to various reasons like, fear of pain associated with penetration, particularly the popular misconception of "breaking" the hymen and bleeding upon the first attempt at penetration, or the idea that vaginal penetration will inevitably hurt the first time it occurs, the fearful feedbacks from married friends, past history of sexual abuse, or dislike towards the sexual partner.
The fact is that periods may start along with breaking of hymen in those who are near to menstrual date. This is behind the frightful stories of heavy bleeding on hymen rupture which is being propagated by those with such experiences. Other reasons like anxiety, stress, vaginal or urinary infections, trauma and even strict conservative moral education may be behind vaginismus.
It is seen more often in newly married who are attempting intercourse with much haste. Allow the bride some time to get mentally and physically ready.
Once full sexual penetration has occurred with the partner, the chances of vaginismus with the same partner is very less.
Just by clearing misunderstanding and fear, and by self assessment, it may resolve on its own.
*Anorgasmia*
If the lady is unable to reach orgasm half the times she has intercourse even with ample sexual stimulation, it can be considered that she is having anorgasmia.
Strong bonds of understanding with sexual partner may help resolve this problem.
Anxiety about some one overhearing, or the child waking up or the presence of other family members in the adjacent room, mind preoccupied on other thing etc may hamper the possibility of an orgasm. So such thoughts and situations have to be avoided.
There are more chances of reaching orgasm, if the lady is mentally and physically prepared for the sexual act.
Instead of making love at pre chartered time, partners should engage in sex when ever they both feel sexually aroused. This helps in having good sex, overcoming difficulties like vaginismus, erectile dysfunction etc.
*Hysterectomy*
Many ladies think that once uterus is lost, life is lost. Ladies should understand that there is nothing that may affect their normal sexual life. There may be hormonal problems if ovaries are removed along with uterus. That also may be relieved by proper medication and diet.
The main problem associated with hysterectomy is vaginal dryness about which we have already discussed above.
*Infections* ๐ง♀๐ง♂
Different types of infections may affect sexual wellbeing. Various reasons like lack of hygiene to diabetes may be the reasons behind the recurrent fungal infections etc.
Use of condom etc may help in protecting the partner from getting infected.
It is a good habit to wash the private parts before and after intercourse. For relief from infections, Triphala water ( Triphala in water is boiled, cooled and filtered) can be used for washing.
Ladies suffering with leucorrhea (white discharge) should get treatment for that first. Heavy discharge/ discoloration/ foul smell / itching etc are signs of an infection.
In couples who lead an active sexual life, even if only one partner is having infection, both should take treatment at the same time as there is a risk of cross infection between the partners. Infection may be seen recurring as a result of back to back spreading.
*Not during those taboo days*๐ค
*Intercourse during menstrual periods*
It is better not to have intercourse on menstrual days. Those are the days on which the ladies are the least prepared physically. Also there is a higher chance for infection.
IUCD ( copper T etc) are never a barrier for intercourse.
What ever sexual practices that are acceptable for both in the bedroom are not perversions. But forcing the reluctant partner for the acts will come under perversion.
There is nothing wrong in sex. It is a normal body function where union of two bodies and minds do happen. Some keep their minds shut to their partners even if body is shared. This shouldn't be. This is the occasion where one needs to, and 'should' open up.
There are women who think that if they discuss sexual matters with their partners, they will be deemed as having loose morals. Some men also feel the same and abstain from discussing as they think it will damage their image.
Remember that maintaining the etiquettes are enough.
Ayurveda is having a special branch called ' Vajeekaranam' which is exclusively for dealing with sexual health. But it is highly misunderstood and is getting narrowed down to a product / lehya for vigour. This area has turned out to be a healthy field for quacks with their half baked (or zero) knowledge and fraudulent drugs to cheat gullible people and mint money.
' Kalyanaka Ghrita' is a medicated ghee in Ayurveda which is very effective in certain types of mental disorders. At the same time, 'Kalyanam' in Malayalam means marriage. May be in earlier days vaidya's advice of kalyanaka ghrita for mental illness was mistaken as kalyana and hence this bad tradition of hurriedly marrying off mental patients. Likewise with out giving much thought, after seeing the ads, people are rushing out to buy the so called sex boosters and remedies which offer magical cure for all the sexual problems in the world.
What is the problem and what is its solution?
After finding out this only problem should be solved.
Realise that solution for all the problems is not one and the same.
In Ayurveda, a wide array of treatment modalities ranging from body purification or panchakarma to Rasayana - Vajeekarana medicines are available to address various sex related diseases.
*Vajeekaranam*
Vajeekarana or Vrishya chikitsa is one of the eight major branches of Ayurveda. In Sanskrit, Vaji means horse, the symbol of sexual potency & performance. Vajeekarana means replicating a horse's vigor, particularly the animal's great capacity for sexual activity, in humans. Literally Vajeekarana is not exactly aphrodisiac but currently it is used as a synonym.
However, the main aim of Vajeekarana is always successful copulation for healthy progeny, with sexual pleasure being just an additional benefit. Therapies are also described for various sexual and reproductive diseases like Klaibya( E D), Vandhyatva (Infertitily), Shukraghata Vata (azoospermia and premature ejaculation). etc.
Today’s competitive and stressful environment exhibits a negative impact on the sexual life of people. India is named as the country with the largest male population in the world. Here, erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common occurrence among males and its incidence is expected to increase significantly along with the increase in various lifestyle diseases. A study conducted in Mumbai in the year 2012-14 shows the increase in the incidence of erectile dysfunction in India. Its incidence has been projected to increase significantly to over 320 million by the year 2025.
It has also been dubbed as the impotent capital of the world due to the high incidence of lifestyle diseases which in turn is one of the biggest reasons for impotency.
A study in 2012 by All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS ) found that the average sperm count of Indian male was 60 million per ml, 30 yrs ago and now this has decreased to 20 million per ml. This study also revealed that the majority of men who were exposed to high temperature at their work place and those who work continuously in sitting position are prone to a low sperm count since a one degree elevation in testicular temperature leads to 14% depression of spermatogenesis. 12-18 million couples in India are diagnosed with infertility every year. In males across the world, there is a decrease in sperm quantity as well as quality like , a decrease in motility (sperm movement) and changes in morphology (shape and structure) of the sperms. There has been a 2% decrease in quality annually. Also, 40% men in reproductive age group have recorded a quantitative and qualitative decline in sperm quality. Stress also decreases the hormones that stimulate spermatogenesis.
The Ayurvedic vajeekarana chikitsa has solutions to this emerging problem of erectile dysfunction and disorders relating to seminal parameters.
Vajeekarana therapy is said to revitalize all the seven dhatus (body elements), there by restoring equilibrium and health. Keeping in mind the concept of vajeekarana as described in the texts of Ayurveda, it definitely offers a solution to minimize the shukra (sperm and ovum) defects and to ensure a healthy progeny.
Rasayana drugs act inside the human body by modulating the neuro-endocrino-immune system. Vajeekarana rasayana is a special category of rasayana, which improves the reproductive system and enhance sexual function. They act on higher centers of the brain, i.e., the hypothalamus and limbic system. Vajeekarana also has anti-stress, adaptogenic actions, which helps to alleviate anxiety associated with sexual desire and performance. Chauhan et al. (2010)in a study showed that administration of vjeekarana rasayana modulates the level of the pituitary hormones FSH and LH. This can explain the positive effect of the herbs on sexual functioning.
Vajeekarana chikitsa requires living in strict compliance to the directions mentioned in Ayurvedic classics. The treatment involves various methods of sodhana (body cleansing) followed by medicines, based on the prakriti of the individual(doshic body constitution).
By properly understanding the semen analysis and problems related to intercourse, the physician can select the appropriate oushadha yoga or their modifications according to the condition of the patient.
Vajeekarana drugs are subdivided by Acharya Sarngadhara as:
*Sukrala:- The drug which facilitates and increases the production of semen (spermanogogues). These drugs are used to improve spermatogenesis and androgen synthesis. (sukra means semen, reproductive tissues and it's control system )
*Sukra janaka pravathakam: – Increases the semen and promotes ejaculation.
*Sukra rechanam:- Promote the expulsion of semen.
*Sukra pravarthini :- The stimulator of semen. Various psychological factors play an important role in sexual stimulation. Beautiful woman is considered as vajeekarana par excellence. In contrast, grief, anger, anxiety, fear, suspiciousness towards women partner has an adverse influence.
*Sukra sthambhakam:- Drugs which help to withhold semen for longer time . Drugs in this group are useful in treating premature ejaculation.
*Sukra soshakam:- Drugs which dry up semen or reduce quantity. This can only be used to reduce the sexual desire and not as a vajeekarana.
*Sukra Sodhana Mahakashaya (By Acharya Charaka):- the drugs which will do the sukra sodhana (semen cleansing)
∆ Eligibility criteria for consuming Vajikarana preparations.
As per Ayurveda, a person below 17 years of age and more than 70 years of age should not consume Vajikarana preparations. These preparations have to be consumed by "jitendriya purusha" or man who has control on his senses and desires. If Vajikarana preparations are consumed by "ajitendriya purusha" or man who has lost control over his senses and desire, he may prove harmful to the society.
Even though most of the treatments explained are for male patients there are treatments for vandhyata (infertility) in women and for problems related to loss of libido. The reason for the importance given to male infertility in the ancient Ayurveda texts may be due to the social setup of those days.
¥ In short, Vajeekarana Chikitsa is a treatment procedure in Ayurveda that focuses on the sexual health of a person. This branch deals with the management of defective semen and spermatogenesis along with treating sexual weaknesses. Currently, the importance of this branch has increased manifold, as more and more people are turning to Ayurveda for reporting various disorders related to seminal parameters and sexual dysfunction. The branch needs a rehauling with more enthusiastic scientific researches to develop further.
*Mysteries of magic ads*.๐คซ
The advertisements of sex medicnes work like a shrewd palm reader. More than 30% people will be having some kind of a sexual problem.
The advertisers take advantage of their ignorance, fear, helplessness and disgrace...
Understand that the sex stimulants are also having side effects.
Instead consult a qualified physician for relief from any of your sexual problems , have a frank discussion with him and take proper medication...
The conditions may vary from those that can be treated with out medicines to those requiring hormonal therapy to surgery.
Understand that details like - ' how to use the medicine and for how long , its proper dosage, side effects if any, and the solution for that '- all these are known to a qualified doctor only / the tablet in the ads doesn't know it.
๐พ Another super item ๐ฑ
* Massage oils for stronger penis*
Massage can improve circulation in any part of the body. Therefore, when the 'enhancing' oil is massaged, it will have a similar effect only. Nothing like proper cure or permanent solution.
*They act also as confidence boosters* Therefore, even if initially they may give some result temporarily, the same may not work out for long.
Whether for pro creation or otherwise, sexuality is inherent in every living being. Depending on hormonal or genetical differences, there may be variations in their levels.
Failures in sex is the leading cause for sexual perversions like exhibitionism.
Perversions are sexual disorders .Help the patient to understand this fact and make him avail proper treatment.
*Marriage is merger of two individuals*๐
In a relationship, the partners should definitely know each other's mind. A successful relationship is not only about the success on bed.
To be a soothing touch, a loving caress, to crack a joke with out much care and laugh out loud with bubbling mirth, to talk about everything under the sun or doing odd jobs as a team, a hug, a pat, a kiss on the cheeks should be a part of your everyday life.
If the husband likes politics and sports, wife should try to acknowledge and show some interest in that.
If your wife is a chatterbox, be there with her as a hum, even if you are not following her entire conversation.
Let the cold of love seep through you, as it falls as dew drops on your soul...
Let that drizzle of love drench you through, as it is so prizeless....
Let the warmth of love, as morning sun, fall on you as a golden glow ...
When that soothing breeze of love is, caressing your tresses, just wade deeper so that you get even more caresses.
With out enjoying all these little luxuries of every day life, if we stuff our heads with work, share market,& other domestic chores and scramble for money and bank balance etc, understand that you are missing out on all the most beautiful feelings that heal your inside.
More than mere physical rituals, let every relationship become more fruitful with love and empathy.
*What are the savings of the wedded life?*
A big house,?
A luxury car?
A huge bank balance?
All these are secondary to the strong bonds of love and attachment between the couple.
Is your hugging limited to posings for Fb profiles... or is your life really rich with such private moments?
Those moments, when you open up to each other, the little deeds that give assurance of a long lasting companionship, the feeling of intimacy with a few words or a loving glance, that embrace which drowns all the sorrows and tensions?
With the maturity that comes with years of togetherness, the understanding dawns that for making your relationship a success, it is not forgetting, but forgiving all the flaws and faults of your mate that really works out.
If your life is rich with all these treasures,
how could you loss out on sexual pleasures..
Snuggle under blankets with your lover
Be the winner always and ever!!
With warm regards
Dr Navaneetha Kamath
and
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